kapgar

I got a devil's haircut...

Katie and I are up watching the Olympics last night, it's about 10:30 p.m. and I'm dying. Simply nodding in and out of sleep for the next 15 minutes until we decide to go upstairs. We turn on the Olympics up there and I decide I'm going to sleep regardless. I nod off and then Katie turns out the light. I wake up long enough to kiss her goodnight and see her fall dead to the world.

And, of course, I wind up awake until sometime after 1 a.m. How the hell is this fair?

So, um, yeah, my creativity is kinda shot and I had this really cool idea for a post I was going to write that would serve as a review of this razor that was sent to me as a freebie. You probably saw it over on Karl's site. Apparently we were both hit up at the same time. Combine my tiredness factor with the fact that Karl already did the cutesy review and I'm sorry, but you're not going to wind up with a bunch of photos of people with curious shavings in their heads and facial hair with parts of my own face Photoshopped over them. Just ain't happenin', folks. Shame because I was really looking forward to my face with Rick "Wild Thing" Vaughn's zigzag hair from Major League.

[I realize not all of you appreciate product placement, but if you stay tuned, I've got a couple video snippets from the TDFN: Pizza episode in the extended post. No, really!]

Instead, you're going to get a straightforward review of the new Schick Quattro Titanium Trimmer (to be referred to henceforth as the "SQTT").

In the simplest terms, the SQTT is an all-in-one razor and trimmer. One end is your standard razor with four blades, a moisturizing strip, and a single edging blade on the reverse face of the blade. I always like having an edging blade. Pretty handy when you've got cutoff sideburns and a goatee like me. However, on the opposite end of this device is a battery-powered trimmer with a three-setting protective head cover. While I haven't looked for it in stores, I was told by the guy that contacted me that this thing goes for about $14 retail. Not bad considering I spend about $7-8 for a razor and $15 for a trimmer.

The razor works just as well as you'd expect. Nice, clean shave. Didn't nick myself at all and the moisturizing strip makes the blades just glide over my face. One strange thing is getting used to how big this thing is. Most of my razor handles are about half the width of this thing, if not less. Plus the battery and motor used for the trimmer adds quite a bit of heft to the thing. It may sound odd, but once you've been shaving with a certain type of razor, this additional weight can take some getting used to in order to make sure you don't overapply pressure and cut yourself. Thankfully, it really took me no time to get used to it.

The trimmer is a nice little toy to have on this thing. It's a small trimmer head, but it's perfect if you travel a lot and don't want to carry a large trimmer in your luggage. However, the size means it is best used on small areas (no jokes, people!) like sideburns. I used it on my goatee and it took a little longer than I'm used to in order to finish trimming. But the results were quite nice. If you plan on trimming a full beard, you'd better have the patience of a saint, though.

The entire unit is waterproof, which is great. I almost always shave in the shower and knowing that I can use this thing without worrying about frying it or myself is a plus.

My only true concern now is with how much replacement blades cost. The housing used to connect the blade to the base unit is unlike any I've seen before (maybe this is the standard Schick Quattro and I just haven't used one yet), and the high cost of replacement blades is something that has irked me for years.

I would've also liked to see it come with a little bottle of oil that could be used to lube up the trimmer, though, and possibly a cleaning brush. Most trimmers I've owned come with both these things.

Would you like to see the final result? Here you go...

Ain't I sexy? Okay, so my creativity was only mostly shot. This was a quick grab and slap, though.
But, c'mon! Tom Selleck in Mickey ears is quality comedy gold!

Overall, I'd give it a B+ bordering on an A-. If you hurry over to TrimFlixx.com and make yourself a free gag movie (akin to those viral dancing elves videos around Christmas time), you can score yourself a free razor. Or at least I think you still can. It might end this week, though, so HURRY!

Gimme money...

I swear to God, every time I now think the words "Snippet Wednesday" in my head, I wind up singing a strangely bastardized version of The Bangles' "Manic Monday." That can't be right, can it?

Anyway, we're on to Snippet Wednesday #11! And there was much rejoicing!

Begging
While in Chicago for Davecago, Katie and I saw our fair share of beggars asking for money. I don't know why I thought this, but for some reason, the concept of these guys as actually having a lot of money hit me. What if they'd had such fantastic luck panhandling that they had tons of money and continued to play the role of poor just because it was so lucrative? Is this really such a stretch? We only see a little bit in their buckets, guitar cases, hats, etc., at any one time, but this doesn't mean that they hadn't removed big chunks of cash and put it in a pocket to make it look like they had nothing. What if they do return home at night to really nice houses and families and the like? Do you think this could be possible? Remember Orlando Jones in Office Space? He said he made more selling magazine subscriptions than he did in his software design job. Why not for panhandlers, too?

Van
On the way home from Chicago, we were driving near one of those big Ford conversion vans with all the windows blacked out and heavy duty, aftermarket locks welded on the back and side doors. Katie's response, "yeah, somebody is tied up and drugged in the back of that van." I think I agree. But I also think we may be watching too much CSI and Criminal Minds.

Homero
I think I'm going to find a quarter and etch Homer on it then return it to general circulation kinda like what happened here. How cool!

Gymnastics
I have always loved Olympic gymnastics. I really have no idea why. It's not something I ever wanted to try, it's nothing I'd ever be capable of doing, and the kids are so freakishly young and small that I actually said about one Chinese gymnast last night, "She's so tiny I could fold her up and put her in my pocket," so it's certainly not sex appeal (well, except Alicia Sacramone who I think is the first gymnast I've ever seen who actually has a body and doesn't look 12 years old and, yes, I feel horrible for her after what happened last night). I think I may have finally figured out the real reason, though, while listening to a commentator during the women's gymnastics routines last night. I think it might be because it's the one time you can say something akin to "she's got great spread in her legs!" and not be arrested for indecent public behavior.

Pryor-itized
Thank you, Cinematical!

Scraps
Are any of you scrapbookers or stampers? If so, and if you live in the Chicago area or are willing to pay for shipping, my mom is having a big scrapbook and stamping supply sale this weekend. Here are some of the details...

Rubber Stamp/Scrapbook Supplies Closeout Sale

Many Thousands of New Items

Everything Must Go!!!

Rubber stamps, card stock, envelopes, ribbons, embellishments, punches, stamp pads/re-inkers, storage units, handmade cards, embossing powders, adhesives, markers, specialty papers, handmade cards and much, much more!

Friday - Saturday, August 15-16, 9 a.m. - 4 p.m.

I know my mom said it's okay to post her address and phone number, but I still feel weird about it. You never know what kinds of freaky people are crawling for that information. So, if you're seriously interested, e-mail me at kapgar5@gmail.com and I'll give you her information. Sound good?

Do you believe in magic...

I think I have officially found the strangest word ever included in a spell check dictionary. Or it could be a sign that the world truly is ruled by J.K. Rowling. Take your pick.

In an homage to an episode of Ace of Cakes when Mary Alice calls Duff "Dumbledork," I called a friend by the same name in an e-mail. The spell checker flagged the word and offered "Dumbledore," the character in the Harry Potter books and movies from which Mary Alice's comment was taken, as a viable alternative.

Now, unless "Dumbledore" has some other valid reason to be included in a Microsoft dictionary (I was using Outlook for the e-mail), I think I can say I've seen it all.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Mark David Chapman, the man who shot John Lennon four times in the back outside the latter's NYC apartment in 1980, has been denied parole for a fifth time. The question remains whether it was for the safety of society or for his own safety.

I say let him out and see what happens. It can be a Running Man of sorts to see who gets to him first. Muahahahahahahahahahahahaha. ha.

Get down tonight...

Sadly, another Davecago has come and gone. I say "sadly" simply because it feels like it will be another eternity spent waiting for Davecago the Fourth to happen next year. I really do enjoy meeting up with fellow bloggers even if I am a bit of a social outcast.

Jeez, there were a ton of cool people there. When Katie and I were heading downtown, I didn't really know who to expect to see since it seemed like a lot of people were unable to make it this year like Kim and diane. I did figure on Tori being there if she could find parking (ha!) as well as Jenny, RW, Mrs. RW, and Gary. But, other than them, I really didn't know.

Mocha made the trip, which always makes me happy because I totally PPH her! And I met a bunch of other people I'd never met in real life before like *lynne*, Leah, and Robin. Plus somebody who was introduced to me as Suzanne, one of Dave's blog stalkers. That's pretty cool in a very creepy, cloak-and-daggerish way.

I have some pictures here for you from the event, and from walking around Chicago beforehand with Katie and Dave. They're in a pictobrowser, so you may need to click through from your reader or you can just surf on over to Flickr to see them.

But one of my favorite things about the whole event was commiserating with my fellow bloggers on things that bug us about the medium. From people squatting on blog names (ever wonder why RW's site is misspelled without a "y"?) to not having the amount of time you'd like to read each and every site to the give and take of commenting to coming up with ideas to keep things fresh.

Do you have any idea how good it feels to know that I'm not the only one who feels bad that I sometimes have nothing more to say in a comment than "I totally agree with you"? That's one of the many things I struggle with in blogging... finding something meaningful to say to show support for all of you that I read. I don't want to be that guy who simply says "I agree" but I also know that for some of you, myself included, that's all you want to hear. That's why we write what we write, to get it out and get feedback to either confirm what we are saying or to let us know that we are nutso beyond compare. And sometimes that seemingly meaningless "throwaway" comment is the easiest way to show that support.

But because there are so many blogs we read and so many posts we agree with and so little time to complete it all, we just don't. It's completely understandable.

So I guess what I'm trying to say is, just because I don't comment or because someone else you think is a reader of your site doesn't comment all the time does not mean we are not reading or we do not agree or we do not value what you are pouring out of your heart of hearts. We are and we do. Just know that. 'Tay?

Oh, and I got a killer brownie recipe from Tori that will definitely be a future Damn Fool Network episode. Stay tuned. ;-)

Eat, drink and be merry for tomorrow we die young...

It's time I take a stand, dammit. I've been sitting back way too long and just watching the world go to pot and I've had it! As the late, great Peter Finch said in his role as Howard Beale in Network, "I'm as mad as hell and I'm not going to take this anymore!" So sit back, folks! I'm goin' political on yo' asses!

Yeah! Here's how it's goin' down... I'm going to lobby Congress for legislation to protect us against Marketing Blasphemy and I need your support and assistance.

What? You thought I was announcing who I was going to support in the Presidential election? Ha!

The purpose of this legislation is to ensure that marketing and advertising firms are no longer allowed to use popular music or television/movie imagery in the ads they create for their clients.

I'm sick and tired of having media-related things that I love in life raped and pillaged for the sake of advertising. For example, there's this piece of crap from J.C. Penney.

Don't get me wrong, it's a semi-well done commercial from a production standpoint. They captured the feel of The Breakfast Club decently enough. But they are still killing the memory of one of the best John Hughes films ever. A movie I grew up loving. And now I not only never want to see it again because I'll be stuck thinking about this piece of tripe, but I also never want to set foot in a J.C. Penney because of what they've done by accepting this from their ad firm as part of their new campaign. It would seem to me that the best way to bring in customers is by not pissing them off. Maybe I'm in the minority here and am the only one who feels this way. I dunno.

Nirvana? Really? I'm guessing the Ally Sheedy wannabe was about two years old when Kurt off'd himself (or was off'd by Courtney if you buy into the conspiracy theory). And, lastly, that kid is their stand-in for Bender? You gotta be kidding me. Judd Nelson would eat him for lunch and still have room for a Pixie stick sandwich.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): This was sent to me by a friend. I had to share...

Hmmm... maybe this isn't who I should be lobbying for anti-Marketing Blasphemy legislation after all.

And I'm free...

Yay for Vimeo!

The Damn Fool Network: Pizza from Kevin Apgar on Vimeo.

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): Let's try a little social experiment, shall we?

I'm going to tell you -- nay, I'm going to insist emphatically -- that you not look at Avitable's post for today as it will burn your retinas beyond the point of recovery. How many of you will listen and how many of you will click through out of sheer morbid curiosity?

Last chance.

Av, can you check your stats on this one for me? My eyes still hurt. Thanks.

Are you diggin' on me...

Are you ready for Snippet Wednesday #10??

Yeah, I'm not either. Just thought I'd ask in case. But, yanno, I have now broken into the double digits. That's a big accomplishment considering we bloggers usually have the attention span of gnats and give up on regular things like this way too quickly.

Oh well.

Tube-Tied
As you all know from my paltry post yesterday, YouTube decided not to play nice. Well, I can't really fault them as it is their policy to not accept videos longer than 10 minutes in length and I was openly defying that. But it sucks no less. However, thanks to Marie and Hilly, I've now discovered Vimeo and am in the process of uploading videos there. Much nicer user interface and so far it's playing well with what I'm giving it. One video done and processed and another one in the works. I'll try posting the new video tomorrow. Wish me luck... I'm cooking yet again!

Wal-phone
Katie and I have pretty much ruled out getting iPhones again. Even though they've dropped in price and whatnot, they're still comparatively expensive and we just don't have that kind of a budget for a phone and don't plan to anytime soon. However, I'd still like a smart phone and have discovered the Palm Centro. What I like about it is that it works just like the Palm Pilots that I've been using for years now, just with a phone in it, so I know it will work on Mac and PC and sync with my Outlook account at work. Plus it has threaded SMS messaging so you can maintain a conversation with someone kinda like using Gmail and not have to search all over God's green acres for past messages. That's pretty sweet. The biggest bonus, though, is that they're currently available at Wal-Mart of all places for a mere $18.88 each. And that's taking into consideration that we're not new AT&T users. The free Centro deal at Best Buy this week is for rookies only. I hate that. I'm still having trouble wrapping my mind around the idea that we're thinking about buying cell phones from Wal-Mart. That's just strange.

Knighted
The Dark Knight has broken $400 million... in a mere three weekends. That's just insanely cool. We all know it's repeat business that is driving this one and Katie and I have seen it twice. How many times have you seen it?

Homely
I take issue with this headline... Joss Stone playing homely wife in "Tudors." Sure, the character she will be portraying was not known for being good looking. But this is Joss Stone. You do not make her play "homely." No no. Never.

Scooter
In celebration of Marty's birthday, I am going to celebrate Scooter Wednesday (yes, all this happened this past Saturday, not today, deal with it). More photos are available at Flickr.

I do not feel ashamed...

I had a great post. A follow up to The Damn Fool Network post from last week, in fact. I had it all edited. All output to the proper format. All of it uploading to YouTube.

All that was left was for it to be processed by YouTube's servers.

And they reject it for being two and a half minutes too long.

And I've got nothing else ready to go.

YouTube... you bitch.

It's a beautiful mornin'...

Hey all, I have three things to help you ring in this new week and I hope they're as good for you as they are for me.

First, I'm guest posting today for the second time in nearly as many weeks for another good friend Penelope. This time, I won't be writing about how scared I am to guest post, I swear. Nothing cheesy like that. Nope, no cheese... just w(h)ine. So click on through and check it out.

Second, I'm prepping for Davecago 2 (it's 3... sorry) this weekend! That should be great. Okay, correction... I don't think "should" is the proper thing to say as it's Dave coming to town. More like "will." It's always fun when Dave comes to town. And I do believe Katie and I will both be there. Anybody else planning to be in attendance?

Third, I've got a fun little joke for you courtesy of my wife. It's a long one, so to keep my homepage a bit uncluttered, I'm putting it in the extended post.

So tell me why...

For the first time since tearing up my shin last year, I finally got out and played some disc golf. No, I wasn't scared to play. I wasn't fearing further injury. I was, plain and simple, just too damned lazy to get out there and play. So what do I do? I wait until one of the hottest damn days so far this summer to get my butt out there. I'm such a freakin' moron.

Speaking of working out, I was at the gym the other day and I flipped through the channels on the TV and found some network I'd never heard of before called ION (their logo slugs show it like TELEVISION). Cute, whatever. But they were airing an episode of Quantum Leap and, honestly, I can never say no to Sam and Al. I love that show. Always have. Always will. So, yeah, I left it on.

I've discussed time travel on here before. The whole would you/wouldn't you question. How you think it might affect your current life. That sort of thing.

But, what if you were like Sam and you were traveling around taking over someone else's life for a brief period of time instead of time traveling around as yourself? It would probably mess with your head a bit but we all know that Sam became relatively well adjusted to the concept. In fact, anybody who watched the whole run of the series will remember that instead of going home in the final episode, Sam opts to continue leaping. It became that much a part of him.

What about the poor saps whose lives he jumps into, though? How fucked in the head do you think they are? One second they're living their life (I think I correctly used "they're" and "their" there, didn't I? Heh) and BAM they find themselves stuck in some holding chamber at a science lab in New Mexico in a bad white jumpsuit watching as some schmuck takes credit for what is rightfully your claim.

One guy is about to make the winning basket in the state championship game... BAM... Sam makes the shot instead.

Another dude is gonna ask the love of his life to marry him... BAM... Sam's got another wife. Not you.

Some guy is about to make love to his wife... BAM... Sam swoops in and scores the notch on the bedpost. And for all you know, that could be Sam's kid, not yours.

Yeah, it's great for that guy who, in this episode anyway, was being hooked up to an electric chair. But still.

So what moments in your life would you rather have Sam leap in and take the blame for?

Totally Unrelated Aside (TUA): I was talking to a friend recently and he relayed to me how, at his job, he was "voluntold" to do something. "Volun-what," I asked.

"Voluntold" as in you're told to volunteer or someone else volunteers you for an assignment, he explained.

That has to be one of the greatest contractions of two words I hate that I have ever heard before in my life. It's brilliant in its simplicity, isn't it?